Time

How strange is time -- on the one hand it can seem like there is so much of it (three weeks between classes because of the two-week midsemester break) and yet at the same time that can seem like nothing (time subsumed by days at work, assignments to mark, writing that I need to catch up on, doctors' (yes, multiple) appointments, dentist appointments, funeral, all sorts of things). It's a paradox.

One week's almost passed and what have I done? Some writing? Yes. Rewrote a chapter today. That was good. Novel 2 assignments? No. Workshopping? No. Editing assignments? No. All these hang over me. Worked on the online unit? No. Read for pleasure? No. Where does time go? Part of the problem with the holidays is that I see them as time to catch up on writing and work I'm behind in, whereas my children see them as family time that I should be spending with them. Part of me rails against this, but another part says that I hardly ever give them my weekends because I'm often doing stuff for school. Maybe I'm just not organised enough. I don't know. I do know it drives me batty. And I do know that I enjoy the time I do spend with them -- and yes they grow quickly so I should be making the most of it.

The only time I've been able to do long-term sustained writing without interruption is the one year I had between my children starting school and my starting work. But even that was sabotaged by my husband being out of work for a good bit of that year. I shouldn't complain. I love my job. Love being with the students. But I do resent how much of my home life it encroaches on. I think the problem is that it's TAFE and most TAFE is more like apprenticeship-type stuff with little marking at home, whereas our course (and Liberal Arts too) are much more like Higher Ed courses with workshopping etc. I mean you can't workshop a stool (wooden) at home, or a haircut, or the serving of drinks.

Really, my complaint is not about my job: it's about my lack of free time. People say to me that they're bored. They complain about this. I always say I wish I had time to be bored. I don't have that luxury. I envy people that kind of free time because I could use it to write. Non-writers just don't get it. But my other writer friends do. We all need to run away together. Antigua, anyone?