Funeral

Why is it that the only time you get to see some members of the family is when someone dies? Sometimes I think we don't get together enough to celebrate the living. Today, we've been to the funeral of my husband's grandma, or Nan as she is to all of us. My husband was very close to Nan because after his parents split up, and he and his brother went with his father, Nan moved in to look after them. And he's been close to her ever since.

It's something to ponder a life that stretched ninety years. I interviewed Nan a few years ago for an oral history project on the affect of war on women, and she revealed a family secret that my husband didn't know -- something quite shocking, but which ultimately was good that he does know.

It's also fascinating pondering the many relationships (and I'm not talking sexual here, I'm thinking in the same way that I do about my character relationships in my novel) a person can have and how complex these can be. Nan had a falling out with her daughter years ago, and this relationship has been both tortuous and torturous at times. Of course this can make things difficult for everyone -- even now that Nan has gone. That brings all its own sorts of considerations -- about wills and all types of things. I think the months ahead may be a bit messy, but in the meantime we mourn someone who did live a remarkable life -- as, really, we all do. It just doesn't always feel like it at the time.